Your husband is a pretty simple creature right my friend? He has a few basic needs that if met, produce a pretty happy guy. So ladies, don’t slack off (and don’t worry I’ll write about what he can do for you too!) But today it’s all about him.
You may feel like some of these aren’t your job, or that you don’t exactly care for them. That’s perfectly fine. It’s just a fact that these 5 things are vital to his happiness, emotional satisfaction, the level of love he feels and his level of attachment to you as well.
Number 1) Sexual Fulfillment
Yep-it’s still true. When was the last time you initiated things? Well, this week it’s time to give it a go! I know I know you may be saying “in this day and age you’re still going to tell me his top need is for him to be satisfied?!! That’s so cliché’!” Sorry – get over it. And embrace it. Because guess what YOU are the sexual fulfillment he wants and needs. Take the lead and he will be thrilled.
Number 2) Companionship
After being married for a few years, you are going to have a pretty good idea of what he likes to do. Does he love to hunt? Watch Sci-fi? Play basketball? Soccer? Golf? Some of these may interest you and some may not. Yes, it’s perfectly alright for him to spend time on these alone or with his buddies but your marriage will be in a better place if you put in a little effort to be interested in what he is interested in.
I’m definitely not saying to give up your hobbies or interests, I’m just saying you may want to get to know some facts about his favorite team so you can chat about it at dinner some time. It seems really simple and may seem awkward at first but in time you’ll see a flow when you talk about or participate in some of the things he loves. It’s one of the smaller ways to express love and security to him.
Number 3) Stay Attractive
Don’t bite my head off PLEASE! Hear me out. He married you for a reason and one of those reasons was that he was attracted to you. Look I get it! Kids, job, virtual, LIFE. It’s just that it’s a “man’s brain” kinda thing vs. a woman’s brain.
Smell nice. Put some make-up on sometime. Do your hair. Exercise. Eat healthy. I’m not saying you have to look amazing every minute of every day, just make an effort. Sweat pants and jammie days have their place. I can already hear it as you’re reading this “he should love me just the way I am!” or “that’s BS!” I’m just sayin’-this is a need your husband has that you CAN meet.
Think of it this way. When it’s a girl’s night out you still get ready, right? So why not “get ready” for him? Let me share a quick story to bring this home for you. I’ll treasure one of my last nights with my mom before she recently passed. She would spray herself with perfume before she went to bed and I’d be like “mom, you’re just going to bed why are you spraying yourself with perfume?” And she said “I’m still married you know.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. In her just shy of 92 year old mind, she was getting ready to join her spouse and she was doing what HE loved.
As a relationship coach it was so powerful for me.
And yes, isn’t it awesome that they still do love us when we have our “just woke up” look too. Balance my friends, balance.
Number 4) Support around the house.
No, it’s not the 1950’s but no matter what you say we are naturals at making a house feel like a home. It is one of our gifts. We care about how our home looks and feels way more than they do but they still love a home-cooked meal and a place to relax and enjoy life.
Things have shifted a bit in the past 2 years. He’s most likely been home now more than ever. How can you make his home office work for him? Does he need something new? One of the best things I could have ever done was buy my husband a Trager smoker for his birthday one year! Who knew he’d be cooking a lot more?!! Just ask my daughters or any of his buddies how much he likes to show off his creations. 😊
Make your home a place where you both want to be!
Number 5) Admire Him
A man still loves to be admired. He still craves recognition and appreciation. He needs to know you care and that you see all that he does for you and the family. Every once in a while, it would be a great idea for you to say something like “I really appreciate how hard you work to provide for us.” Or leave him a note on the seat of his car that says “thanks for being my man!”
While we may think that we are the only ones that crave affection you too can simply wrap your arms around him and give him a great big hug. If he says “what’s that for?” just say “nothing, I love you”.
And there it is- 5 ways to meet your husbands needs and have his heart tied to yours. Some simple acts that exhibit serving your spouse and remembering it really is “when you give you receive!”
Here’s to nurturing our marriages!