I got married in 1998. Over the years there have been what I like to refer to as “peaks and valleys.” As I was studying personal growth and development I realized that I wasn’t clear on what I really wanted. Many of us don’t speak up when we want more. We may feel we are protecting the relationship by not leaning in. You know “things are okay so why rock the boat.”
And that’s when you’re actually not being honest with yourself. Things may actually be vaguely - or acutely- dissatisfying.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐬:
• You don’t really talk to your partner about your actual desires, for fear it will hurt their feelings
• You’d like to feel more support, partnership, and connection, but are afraid you’re asking too much
• You’re not even really sure what you actually want… just that the yearning is persistent, despite your efforts to try to be content with the Pretty Good Marriage you honestly are grateful for
The basic goodness of our union wasn’t the fragile treasure that needed protecting. Our Pretty Good Marriage is the solid rock on which we learned to build a great marriage… full of passion and aliveness and growth.
So that nudge inside you? That desire you have for MORE?
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭) 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠’𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝑰𝑻’𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑳𝑬𝑴.
And when you decide to listen to it - at first, to JUST LISTEN - everything changes.
𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞.
𝐈’𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈’𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭.
𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 - 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄